Books on Family: Not so Fast by Ann Kroeker, week two

“Some day, baby, when I am a man, and others have taught me as best as they can, they’ll sell me a suit and cut off my hair, and send me to work in tall buildings. And it’s goodbye to the sunshine, goodbye to the dew, goodbye to the flowers, and goodbye to you.” ~John Hartford

“One second,” I whisper to Ian, who has sprinted from the living room to greet me at the door. He stands, beaming.

“Daddy, daddy,” he whispers, “I’m so glad you’re home!”

I hold a stern pointer-finger upright, then point to the phone.

“A client,” I mouth.

It’s six o’clock and the call I’ve managed to squeeze into the commute home is running a bit longer than expected. It seems I’m always squeezing one last billable minute from the spent pulp of my day.

That’s what we do—the men who work in tall buildings.

Ian turns, not dejected, not crestfallen. He’s grown accustomed to this exercise, and I’ve taught him the principals of provision: daddy has clients; clients have needs; clients pay to have their needs met; payment provides food and the occasional toy or chocolate bar; toys and chocolate bars make us happy.

Even at five, he is wise to the ways of men.

Unwittingly, I’m transmitting a very powerful message to my son in those moments—the way to worldly success and achievement is through constant productivity.

Ann Kroeker sets to shift this paradigm in Chapter 4 of Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families, asking “what are we trying to achieve?” Are we seeking “affluence, consumption, and acquisition?” And more importantly, are we teaching our children to chase these idols to the casualty of their souls? Or are we teaching a different way, a high way only found by becoming humble in the world’s estimation?

“The Bible calls us to higher heights,” Kroeker says. “Moving up in the kingdom requires a descent of sorts that surely, to the world, looks like underachievement or, to borrow a biblical term, foolishness.”

And if you need biblical support for the proposition, Kroeker supplies it. Jesus, Moses, Paul—they defined success not in terms of worldly accomplishments, but rather, in terms of pleasing their heavenly Father.

But how do we teach these lessons to our children? In Chapter 5, Kroeker encourages us to start by slowing down the outward pace, slowing down the extracurricular activity of our children and allowing them to experience the joys of childhood. But it’s not enough to slow down the outer pace. “We need slow down on the inside,” Kroeker says. Only then can we live the Christ-centered life of inner-peace, the life that is slow enough to care (Chapter 6), slow enough to rest (Chapter 7). Only then can we teach our children to live in the same way.

Perhaps the occasional client interruption is not all that bad. After all, I need to honor my clients and give them the service they deserve. But if that level of service requires constant activity to the exclusion of my children, family, and contemplation...if it requires teaching my children that Christ-centered peace yields to the ever-intrusive cares of the world…I’m doing something wrong. That’s the purpose of these chapters, to remind us to slow down for the sake of teaching our children the quiet, humble way to Christ-centeredness, even if it requires sacrifice.

That’s the kind of achievement I want. That’s the kind of precedent I want to set for my children. What about you?

On Mondays in April we are discussing Ann Kroeker's book Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families. If you've posted on your blog about the book, leave your link in the comments. Or, just jump in the discussion! Join us next week as Charity Singleton-Craig leads us in discussing chapters 8-11. Our May book selection is The LIfe of the Body: Physical Well-being and Spiritual Formation by Valerie E. Hess and Lane M. Arnold. Get your book and join us in May!

Image by Martijn van Dalen. Used with permission. Sourced via Flickr.. Post by Seth Haines who blogs at sethhaines.com.